They say you should think before you act. I say: Think less and act more.
Of course, as a critical thinker, I believe every person should consider the consequences of their actions and ;aldkjfasdlkfjads;lkfajsd;lkfjadl;kf. BUT, I’m just beginning to really express myself. I’ve been practicing internal reflection, speaking my mind, pointing out flaws, and truly identifying how something makes me feel. I’m acting on my own accord. It is wonderful.
As you might have read before, this year has consisted of many highs and lows. I’ve had my fun and created a solid potential career, but I’ve slept with the wrong people, felt pathetic and failed miserably. It has been a journey to some form of a self identity. I’m finally getting the sense it is all worth it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The problem is finding my footing. I’m like a toddler running around for the first time. There is no one to place their arms around me and create some invisible force field. Sometimes I hit my head off the corner of the coffee table. Now I’m left with a pool of my own blood.
I know it sounds wrong, but I’m excited. While I hate bringing out the Clorox, making a mess is fun. Discovering how to run is exhilarating. I’m feeling open, optimistic. I’m happy. My rock bottom seems miles away.
You have to understand, all my life I’ve been passive. My own personality traits have been dictated to me and I’ve accepted it. It got to the point where I couldn’t even describe myself. The biggest issue was that I let others judge which me was best for me. I never acknowledged that I had a voice. It is fun to run around and articulate my thoughts. For the first time in a long time, the person I’m becoming matches the person I have always been.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still cleaning up my mess. I’m just saying sometimes a little blood on the new carpet isn’t the end of the world. Sometimes it’s a lesson learned; forward progress.
BOOTS & BISOUS 