So many girls

I’ve been so many different girls throughout my life. I’ve been the girl the guy doesn’t care about, who takes her on a “date” and it ends in a make out in his car- meaningless and nothing. I’ve been the unattainable girl, the rebound, the girl with a puppy-dog crush, the crazy girl, the desperate girl, the dork, and the heartbreaker. I’ve been a bitch, and a sweetheart, and considered goth or hippie or hipster. I’ve been the weird girl, the fancy girl, the fashiony city girl, the naïve girl. All depending on whose eyes are looking at me; Whose eyes I’m being seen through. I’ve been the girl who’s fallen for artists, musicians and mechanics, the girl who only wanted to date a guy who owns a car, the girl who doesn’t care what a guy looks like, the girl who settles, the girl who’s not picky enough, the girl who’s too picky, the girl who only likes funny guys, the girl who only likes older guys. I’ve been the girl who has been called a prude and a slut. I’ve been the flirt, the tease, the confusing girl who leads guys on. I’ve been the mean girl, the cold girl, the girl with family issues, the elusive butterfly. All the while, the only variable being the man who was looking at me and the only constant being me.

♥E

Older men

Ø A lot of younger women seem to go for older men. This isn’t a fad, this is because men in their twenties are like Elmo. They’re fun and cute but they’re kind of annoying and ultimately confused. I’m sorry, are you bothered by my generalization? THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP MAKING IT TRUE.

I’ll be kind and say that you guys probably have good intentions but you always wind up in the failboat. (Note: I realize that not all guys in their 20s are like this. If you’re not like this, you’re of a dying breed! Thank you for existing!) The worst is when you act immature and we’re surprised. I’m sure we do a lot of bitchy things that you hate but one thing that we don’t do is leave you hanging. We don’t randomly stop texting you. (Also, we don’t think of watching you and your bros playing video games and taking bong rips as a date.)

This is why I need to marry Henry Rollins.

Yeah, specious logic on my part. Really I’ve always had a crush on Henry Rollins. And although he’s aging much like Debbie Harry, I still think he’s handsome as fuck. He’s smart and funny and creative and kind. At 50-whatever he’s still the cute one from Black Flag. Henry Rollins  is cheeky enough to get away with dating someone like me, by which I mean, someone with a 3 decade age difference. If  we were to date I’m sure most people would find it charming. I know I would – even though he’s older than my dad!

The oldest guy I’ve ever had relations with was 26. I was 16. And by relations I mean made-out with after telling him I was 18. Since then I’ve been staying within reasonable limits of my age bracket but it’s not really by choice. I just haven’t met anyone older who wants to date me. Or I don’t want to date them. I don’t really want to date anyone much older than I am – or anyone for that matter right now. I guess it’s like those boats at the end of The Great Gatsby, floating carelessly into the past, scoping out the bar at Bardot for better looking people to hit on. It’s a love story of the saddest kind. The kind without any love. Or a story.

♥ E

Some girls, some guys

♥ When women describe qualities in men that they’d like, there’s a good chance that “romantic” will be one of them. But I don’t think men really care if their prospective girlfriends are romantic. They might use words like “smart” “pretty” and “good sense of humor” but they will most likely not say “romantic.” (Prove me wrong assholes, prove me wrong.) I don’t know if it’s because romance isn’t important to them or if they define romance in ways differently than women do. Women (not ALL women, I know) want their boyfriend to suddenly declare their love for them, preferably with a guitar, like Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer when (with the help of Billy Idol) he surprised Drew Barrymore on the airplane by confessing his love for her in song. But when I’m overcome with emotion and decide to be spontaneous and shout my love or likeness for someone I’m head over heels about and Billy Idol isn’t there to back me up, I’m asked to leave Trader Joe’s.

“That is so sweet!” we say to Adam Sandler. “That is so shrill!” we’d say if it was Drew Barrymore. For women, where is the line between being romantic and coming off as totally desperate?

Crystal Blue Persuasion by Morcheeba – I think this is the most romantic song.

 

♥E

P.S. – I don’t know the first thing when it comes to dating or romance. I’m 20 years old and the longest relationship I ever had was with my then boyfriend from 8th grade and that lasted for about several months. He’s now one of my BFFs.

shit girls say

By Sonya McHugh

It sounds like quote from “Shit girls say” when I declare I hate boys. But its not like I don’t have a good reason to say this. In my current situation I find myself wondering if this certain someone is worth the risk of getting my ego stamped on. I think everyone has that one person that you don’t want to like but you just cant help it. I just hate that my certain someone has such a power over me that he can just pop back in just to say hi and know that I will still respond just as enthusiastically as I always have. For months I have been doing the whole, “no I’m totally over him” thing. Claiming that I lost my feelings towards him just as fast as he lost his for me. I try to move on and then just went I think I got out of it I find myself back to where I was in the beginning. After consulting with my many gal pals, that all dislike him and tell me not to talk to him, that I should give it a shot. Its like when you are told you cant have that free people scarf because its too expensive but it only makes you want it more, fantasying different things you could wear it with. With unresolved feelings you cant just move on, might as well just try, right?

thoughts from the middle

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I’m a girl – so yes I’m going to express my natural womanly inclination to this – I haven’t had a boyfriend (if you’d even call it that, it was 9th grade, where the extent of a date was going to a movie with some kid sitting in between the two of you – TRUE STORY) since 09’. I was in the kind of relationship where when it’s over you reflect on it and get the same feeling you get when watching HGTV. The only relationships I’ve been engaging myself in since then, are these short lived period occasions of making out with someone in their room and “watching a movie”. Just a note, in my opinion – any first kind of date that involves watching a movie “at your place” is tacky.  It’s just code for “my hopes for tonight are that maybe you put you hand really close to my fly.” Everyone and their grandpa Fergeson knows that.

But the only thing that gets to me about this, is how much effort I put into maintaining these temporary bonds. I shoot my ambitions too high, recognizing it too late. It’s like getting french fries with no ketchup or anything and still eating it.

Nonetheless, I’m still breezy as hell.

*Side note: when you can summarize your love life with any kind of food, there’s trouble. 

bbbrrreeeeeeezzzyyy

♥E